Well life surely has been interesting lately, that's an understatement! My family in the last few weeks have been hit with so much! A few weeks ago was what started it all, hubby failed his fourth PT test in a years time only by a second, ever think about a second...I never gave it much thought, but a second can change so much. Like for instance he faces losing a stripe which means the family will lose money and our finances are terrible as it is, especially considering my eldest turned 18 so my child support money has gone down by $200 a month, then with this possible loss of a stripe we are looking at the very least of losing $300 we can't afford to lose. All over missing a run time by a second taking a $500 hit is extremely hard when we often find ourselves borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. Even though this is bad I have decided to look at it this way at least he still has a job there are going to be some MAJOR adjustments that have to be made though.I'm hoping the loss of a stripe doesn't go beyond that $300 loss. But I'm sure God will provide a way for us, that is the thing I am holding on to.
Next major catastrophe to hit our household was this Friday, I left out to pick up my oldest from work and got into an accident. My van which we are making payments on is more than likely totaled. And even though I was cautious in my movement and saw that the man was turning right so I could turn left...I got the ticket cause he all of a sudden decided to go straight. So I get sacked with failure to yield. However the bright side we both walked away. I walked away with a bruised fingernail from the airbag, a cut on my foot from who knows what, seat belt rash on my neck, and a sore chest and shoulder. But I thank God that I walked away! The last day or so I have spent laying around or moping as my husband thinks, crying and etc. But it isn't tears of sorrow it's tears of gratefulness, and yet even now I realize some fear of my own mortality. I am so thankful to God that I am here with my children where I can love on them, watch them grow, listen to them, cook for them and etc. My worst fear is that I wont be able to grow old and watch them grow up so there in lies the fear..my mortality Friday night could have gone many different ways, it could have been way worse than a totaled car. My husband and family could be preparing for my funeral, I might not have been able to watch my children grow up, go to proms, graduate, get married..grand-kids...of all things in my life this is my worst fear! I could careless about my van insurance will take care of that and I find the blessing in it all that I am doing well just sore and I can hug my babies, tuck them in, talk to them and etc. The van is a piece of machinery that can be replaced human lives can't be. I'm also glad that the other person involved in the accident is alright too he can go home to his family.
But I'll be the first to tell you yesterday was really trying me on top of all this stuff I have had to deal with cause these are pretty major issues and major feelings yesterday yall my toilets(FOUR OF THEM) were all backing up! I was like you have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! I worked and worked on them, Wayne helped a little too. We are honestly down to ZERO dollars in our bank account so we couldn't call anyone out to come help us and I was like God really really I can't really deal with anymore stress right now Father I just can't. So I tinkered a bit more and it may sound nutty to everyone else but I prayed lol I said Lord please oh please let this have worked we are broke and broken down. (Yall I felt silly praying over a toilet) But God please oh please let me be able to flush these toilets and let them function properly cause Lord there are seven of us in this house and we have to be able to use our bathrooms. I flushed the first one success and every other one after that success! Whew!You will never know how happy and relieved I felt! And yes I thanked him after each one flushed lol that's just how grateful I was I think we should be grateful in the big and the small things in life take nothing for granted. God is good, and he's good all the times even when we are going through trails and we may not see the good at the time. In time we'll see the good that was produced from our valley's we can't always bask on the mountain top but we surely can praise him from both the valley's and the mountain tops! So I will keep on stepping forward through the valley we are currently in till I am sitting on the mountain top and seeing just exactly what it is that I'm learning as I go through these hard times. I encourage each and everyone to always remember to keep walking in faith no matter what is going on around you.Eventually you'll see what God was up to!
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